Yellow Lights
My alarm clock rings early in the morning. This time of year the sky is dark, so it takes a few extra minutes to get out of bed. Because of the slower start, I often find myself rushing to get ready and out the door on my way to work.
Recently, as I jumped into my car at the last possible moment, I realized my coffee cup was still sitting on the kitchen counter. I ran back into the house to grab it. Driving down the road, I hit back to back to back yellow lights. As I watched light number three turn yellow in front of me, my thoughts centered around being late to work. There was no longer a chance to save the scramble of snoozing too long and running back into the house to grab my forgotten coffee cup. I began to anticipate how I would explain my lateness to coworkers. The light turned green. As I moved my foot from the brake toward the gas pedal, I watched the light 20 yards in front of me turn yellow. My heart beat faster in my chest as I stopped for a fourth time.
The thoughts of how my day was NOT off to a great start was morphing into fear. I played out all the if onlys and what ifs as my heart festered deep into the reality I would be late for work. If only I had one…just one… green light. What if I had remembered my coffee? If only the sun would have been up when my alarm went off. I surely would have gotten up without delay.
A SHIFT
Sitting at this fourth yellow light, I caught a glimpse of a lake in front of me and my coffee cup in my console. I paused and took a drink. My thoughts began to shift from the fear filled anticipation to being thankful I could enjoy my drink on this now longer than usual commute. With each sip, I set aside each if only and what if of my racing heart. In a last ditch effort, I did one thing I had missed in my morning rush out the door. I prayed.
In choosing to be in conversation with God, He calmed the storm raging in my heart to rest in the still (caffeinated) waters he placed me in.
My panic-filled what if thoughts were replaced with joy-filled smiles. Getting to experience this commute with my God replaced the fear filled thoughts I created. I found myself enjoying the ease of getting to drink coffee at this red light without every bump in the road threatening to splash it onto my shirt. As the light turned green, I waved hello to a friend driving in the opposite direction. Driving over the lake on the last leg of my morning commute, I enjoyed a quiet sunrise that would have missed 10 minutes earlier. My heart calmed and…. no joke… the last four lights in my commute glowed bright green as I sailed through them!
On that day, when evening had come, Jesus said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And the disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. — Mark 4:35-39 —
WAVES of fear
In Mark 4, the disciples of Jesus also found themselves in the middle of a storm. In their choosing to call out to Jesus, He calmed the storm raging in their hearts too.
Jesus invited his disciples to travel across the sea after a day of teaching to a crowd. As they traveled through the night, a storm rolled in. Water filled the boat. The disciples became distressed. Like my last ditch effort to pray, they called out to Jesus and Jesus spoke. Like my drive across the lake and streak of green lights, the sea waters stilled. The boat kept sailing, eventually docking on the other side of the sea.
Like the yellow lights in my commute, the waves jostled the disciples into a state a fear. Even sitting next to Jesus, their thoughts still shifted to fear. In the dark, they could not see the shore in the distance. They did not know how many waves would hit the boat or if the next wave would cause it to sink. I can even imagine one of them grumbling if only we had just stayed on shore with the crowd, we would not be in this mess.
Their situation was certainly more dire than mine, but the heart of their question was the same. ‘Lord don’t you care?’ Don’t you care that we will die. Don’t you care we will not make it to our destination? Don’t you care I will be late? But the point was never the answered question. Both the disciples and myself safely made it to where we were headed. Neither one of us perished. The point was God gifting us space to talk to Him so we could set aside our fears for our faith.
Through conversation with Him, Jesus can shift our mindset away from fear and gift us with a deeper faith.
The disciples called to Jesus with a question. Their fear-filled thoughts of perishing were replaced with a faith-filled awe of getting to experience Jesus ending their storm. I called in prayer. My fear-filled what ifs of my commute were replaced with faith-filled smiles of getting to see a friend and experience a sunrise over a still lake.
FAITH Over FEAR
It is often easy for our hearts to shift to fear so quickly in this broken world we live in.
Sometimes fear is obvious like a late to work racing heart moment. But sometimes fear’s presence is more hidden, simmering under the surface of a storm. Fear sits in the what ifs we ask and the possible failures/losses we expect in the things earth sends our way. Fear can be hidden in the:
circumstances we worry will happen because of what if thoughts and Lord, do You even care questions.
relationships we picture damaging because of a misspoken word or action taken on our end.
comforts we imagine will be lost because of a poor investment or missed work shift.
But there is something else unseen and not fully known our hearts can choose to believe in.
Faith, like fear can be quick to come if we choose to call out to God with all our heart….even if that heart is tinted with fear filled words. Faith also requires us to be like the sea. We must slow down so we can listen to and see God’s command in action. Faith can be seen in the:
circumstances we get to treasure as we pass through still waters.
relationships we get to delight in as we live out stories together.
comforts we get to enjoy as we walk fully alive into the destinations God leads us to.
Both faith and fear require us to believe in something unseen and not fully known.
And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And the disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (vs 37-8)
The disciples fearfully believed the storm surging without an end in sight would be the end of them. But when they faithfully called to Jesus to step in, Jesus heard them. The disciples called, not just believing His eyes were closed in slumber, but also closed to seeing them as people He wants a relationship with. Eyes closed to the smooth sailing comforts they were losing in this stormy circumstance. But they had the faith to call to Him anyway. They called with words that exactly expressed the current state of their hearts with Jesus and their love for Him.
And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. (vs 39)
Jesus heard the disciples on the boat and Jesus answered them. They saw Jesus wake up and assign value to the physical storm of the sea and the do you even care storm in their hearts. Neither held any value in His eyes. The wind was unwanted and the belief He did not care about His people was unwanted. Instead, what came after the storm ceased held value: the calm waters of the sea and the peace filled hearts of the disciples. A sea now filled with the calm of knowing they would live to see another day. Hearts now filled with the peace of knowing the battle for their eternal lives has already been won.
In this place, the disciples’ thoughts shifted. They now believed they would make it across the sea. They did not understand how Jesus made the sea obey him, but they certainly knew He did it!
our STORY
Much like the storm the disciples encountered on the lake, our yellow lights beckon us to pause and commune with our God before we get T- boned by our circumstances or drowned by the waves of fear.
Our yellow lights exist to gift us the chance to call out to God and see Him answer. We can speak to Him no matter our heart’s concern. Because when we do, He promises to still our heart and bring us peace.
They exist to give us a chance to not just sail through the immediate green lights towards our destination of today. They exist so we can see His promise to us, His children, in action. There is no circumstance, comfort, or relationship on earth we need fear because we are heaven bound!
As we encounter our yellow lights today,
are we believing in Jesus, God, and the little ways the Holy Spirit moves in our heart… OR in the what ifs and maybes in the circumstances of earths broken people and circumstances?
are we seeing the evidence of God’s goodness in day to day life… OR succumbing to the stormy waters trying to convince us the chaos of one moment will be the end of us?
are we holding onto the truths heaven is giving us forever… OR the maybes of what life on earth might bring us tomorrow?
are we living our days saying I know God wins… OR saying what if I lose? Because even a loss is not our failure. God’s win is always bigger than we can see and know in this moment.
What side of the faith/fear story is driving your life today?
Fully believing in both at the same time is simply not possible.
